preface: sundays blog actually happened on saturday

Mood: lazy
Music: none

im finding it harder and harder to listen to music, even "Christian" music. starting with the radio, it is almost impossible to listen to one song worthwhile without suffering through euphonious pollution. just ten minutes of the radio and im already disgusted, or worse: enjoying it and reminiscing of the times when music was my life and i easily identified with broken hearts and angry youth and prideful arrogance. i get so comfortable singing these songs and it scares me how easily some horrible lyrics can just slide off my lips. i cant genuinely say the meaning behind the words of these songs, especially the more abstract ones, but sometimes its pretty evident that they want to glorify the world or atleast be a part of it. this is also true of mainstream christian groups that all want to be on the radio for the sake of "evangelism". but honestly, which is easier? grains of salt to dissolve in water so that its elements are invisible to the eye, or sodium and chloride to come together in water and form salt crystals? ok so that wasnt an excellent example but all im saying is that its easier to be diluted than concentrated. if they attempt in jump in a pot of boiling water to convert the water to salt they will dissolve because the world demands conformity and quite frankly its bigger than you.

so anyhow, all this to say that im not a fan of music anymore. though it can be a blessing, im attempting to purify my mind by listening to other things than meaningless songs. this applies specifically to lyriked music, not so much instrumental because i am addicted to bach :) i know there are those of you who can listen to music and not be affected by it, and you are much more mature than i am. im not condemning all music, im just elucidating upon my reasons to avoid overindulgence of it.

ive also been thinking a lot about the covenant of grace since sunday. something so simple and yet fundamental and after 20 years i still dont have a hold on it. conversations with much more mature christians are quite humbling to me to think that i still struggle with the basics. but understanding is understanding, regardless of the level and im thankful that the Spirit has opened my eyes.

hopefully i will go to the Ibarras today \:D/ and hang out with the lovely Juana and hold my adopted child Emiliano :X

later sweet friends >:D<